
Simon Kassianides (formerly of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and a James Bond villain in Quantum of Solace, now directing and starring in his new Kickstarter-funded film “Trust No One”) and me, 2015

Back row: David Dean Bottrell, comedy duo Charles, David Blue, William Hawkins, Gates McFadden, Catherine W. Cheres, Armin Shimerman, T. Lucas Earle, Patricia Tallman, Rosalind Helfand Front row: Jasika Nicole, Donna Glee Williams, Simon Kassianides, Melissa Yuan-Innes
One year ago, I was a Roswell finalist. You may remember my 2015 agonizing about spending the money to go to L.A. when I had a 1/6 chance of winning $1000. You can read about it here and here. I didn’t win, but I had a fabulous time.
And this year…
Dear Melissa,
Congratulations (again!)!
On behalf of SCI-FEST LA, I’m excited to announce that your story “Humans ‘N’ Hot Dogs,” is a finalist for
The Roswell Award for Short Science Fiction.
Your story is one of just six finalists chosen from nearly 250 submissions received from around the world. Your story will be presented in an Awards & Staged Reading event featuring celebrity guest readers on Sunday, May 22 at 7:00pm at the Acme Theatre in Hollywood.
What? No way.
I ran through my usual reasons not to go. It will cost money. It will harm the environment. I should stay home with my kids. I should stay home and work. I should stay home and write. It’s too close to Max’s birthday, which is tomorrow.
Then I decided I wanted to go. Even though I’m sure I’m not going to win. “Humans ’n’ Hot Dogs.” C’mon. A comical piece doesn’t usually take top prize.
But what about Max’s birthday? Up until now, Max has had fairly extravagant birthday parties. Not in terms of renting out the Ritz, but in terms of time and sweat. When he was four, I made Thomas and Annie and Clarabel train cakes.
When he was seven, he decided he wanted the solar system for his piñatas, so I set about making nine celestial bodies and told him, “Max, we’re going to skip Pluto. It’s not officially a planet anymore.” He said, “Awww! But I like Pluto!” So I felt like I had failed him, even though when his friend Lucas told his mom and my friend, Jessica, “Max is having nine piñatas,” she said, “Oh, Lucas, I’m pretty sure Max isn’t having nine piñatas.” But of course, he was. And that made me realize that not every mom would make the solar system for her kid with her own hands.
The past two years, we’ve done water fights and a piñata. For his ninth, we even had a small contingent of girls. But this year, he just wanted to go see the Angry Birds Movie with a few friends. So I thought he might not notice if I went to L.A. for the Roswell Awards.
When I asked Max, he started crying.
Oops. I gave him a big hug. We agreed that I’d fly down on the Saturday instead. That way, I’ll be home for his real birthday *and* Angry Birds. Because you only turn ten once, and even though he ignores me when his best friend, Jacob, is around, it’s cool that he still loves his mom and wants her at his party. That won’t happen for too much longer.
Why do I want to hit L.A.? There were a few things I didn’t have a chance to do the last time. Well, I mean, many, but on my last night, I met Neil from Buzzfeed, and he said I could tour the office. That is WAY cool to me, because…Eugene Lee Yang. I like the Try Guys (the American Ninja Warrior episode hooked me), I like Buzzfeed Violet, I like lots of things. But in the end, Eugene.
My 2015 Roswell friend, Kevin, had invited me to tour Caltech. And Human Remains, the fifth Hope Sze novel, is set in a lab. The ZINN lab said I could stop by. I also reached out to Bill (Dr. William L.) Stanford, whom I’d met through the UOHS conference. He just told me that he’d give me a tour of his Ottawa stem cell lab when I get back! Yeah!
And when I told John Burley, my new ER doctor-author friend, that I was flying down, he said, “It’s only a short flight from San Jose.”
So that makes me feel socially sophisticated, that I have an author-doctor friend flying down to meet me in L.A. for the Roswell Awards. Of course I also feel environmentally guilty, but right now, I’ve decided to travel a little when it calls me. If you want to learn more about John and his cricothyroidotomies, you can read my interview with him here or his official website.
In the meantime, I made homemade vanilla ice cream cake, using whipped cream, condensed milk, and real Madagascar vanilla beans for Max’s birthday. I hope it’s good. I love you, Max! Happy tenth birthday!
oooh! good luck! and grats!
Good luck!
Great news, Melissa
Thanks, Gordon, Shquanebin, Jagadish, and everyone else who stopped by! They say that you lose friends with every success, but I’m glad I’ve still got mine. ‘Course I haven’t hit too many peaks yet, but I’m sure it can seem repetitive to other people who just think, “Melissa’s doing some writing thing again.” 🙂
I remember the late Joan Rivers was asked about the very same thing (Enemies) or haters; and she said, in so many words: “If your operating on a level of “self-activation” your going to draw some kind of fire” Thus, everything has a price tag if your going tor Maslow’s triangle there’s going to be haters!!! it come with the territory. I just say to the Haters!! don’t hate the Play-yah, hate the game!!! And to get to the root trigger, and driver of the matter their not trying to flourish in their life, so they become evied when gf is trail blazing, they can do the same as sistah, but it’s their own insecurities, and lack of motivation that’s been hold them back but instead going inside, they project their insanities in the form of hate on sister and even Stevie Wonder can see that all day long, but they refuse to see it!!!
They have nooooo one to blame but themselves!!! just a bunch of bullies!!!
Mike Chelo, you’re such a positive person. Hope lots of good things come your way.
DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woot! Huge congrats!
Wow!!! Awesome!!
Bravo!
Congratulations and good luck!
That’s awesome!! Congrats Melissa!
Congratulations Melissa. I hope to make the event. Best of luck.
Ooh, Robert! I’d love to see you and your wife again!
Congratulations, Melissa! Rockin’ it again!
Hope Max has a lovely birthday! (And Angry Birds isn’t too stoopid…) @dr_sassy @SciFestLA @simonkass
Congrats – so happy for you!
congrats.
Belatedly tagging John Beuerle. Like me, he has more than one identity.
You go, girl!
That’s amazing! I hope you get it!
Congratulations and good luck Melissa.
Melissa all I can say to you is “Congratulations” and may the “Force be with You”.
Oh Melissa, this is so exciting! Leonardo DiCaprio was nominated for an academy award 5 times before he finally won. I think you will win the Roswell after only one nomination ’cause your writing is perfection. Good luck!
Patricia Filteau, I didn’t win the first time, so too late for writing perfection, but I don’t mind being nominated five times, either. I think about a woman who applied for McMaster’s medical school eight times. She only got an interview the fourth and eighth time. And then she got in. Not that I’m comparing “Humans ‘n’ Hot Dogs” to medical school. I consider myself the ultra-long shot. I appreciate the compliment, though!
Congrats and have fun! You are incredible…good luck!!
Way to go!
Congratulations!!!! You’re books are wonderful and well deserving of some pomp and ceremony! Good luck and enjoy your travels
Are those little wings?
John Sims, good eye. Yes, I borrowed Anastasia’s wings1
Awesome! So proud of you Melissa.
Congratulations, Melissa! Is this for the same or a new work of fiction?
Drummond Fraser, “Humans ‘n’ Hot Dogs” is a short story I wrote, inspired by one of Stuart Maclean’s tales (he of CBC’s Vinyl Cafe fame) some time ago. It’s never been published, so it’s new to the world.
Melissa Yuan-Innes , I’m looking forward to reading it
Fantastic! Good decision to go. Have a fabulous time!
Now I just have to decide what to wear. Short and classy and brand new (but brown won’t stand out in the photos) or long and sexy (and peach *will* stand out in the photos, but I’ve worn it before, although never in Hollywood)?
Or go shopping and find a third option!
… and add a bit of sassy.
Permanently sassy!
That’s awesome!
Way a go Melissa !!! Have a fantastic time
Fantastic is right!
Wtg..
Max’s birthday is always fun, I gotta say.
Awesome!! And not surprised!!
Well done!
Congratulations, Ying!
Holly smokes! Way to go Doc 🙂 great job as always ❌⭕️
The Roswell Award vs. Max’s birthday parties https://t.co/IOdmgObWMj #amreading #amwriting @dr_sassy