The good news: Stockholm Syndrome hit the bestseller list on Kobo less than two weeks after its debut.
The bad news: I was willing to grind myself to powder to get there.
Most people hit the brakes before they get to either point. They’re smarter than me.
Me? TL; DR: I got the flu, then pneumonia, then side effects from medications that landed me in the ER as a patient for two nights with palpitations while raving on dexamethasone. My colleagues were worried about me. And I’m still heading back to the hospital for another work-up today.
Meanwhile, I was still trying to do it all. So far this year, I hit Utah, Oregon, New York (twice), Los Angeles, Boston, Kingston, Ottawa, and Montreal. Drive to Boston solo with my kids? Sure. Make a two-layer homemade birthday cake for my daughter’s fifth birthday party? Of course. Stay at an acting class in Montreal despite getting assaulted with the flu? No problem.

Us wrapped in Rush Couture

Max in Kingston
<–I bought this dress when I was pregnant with Anastasia, and now she can get inside it with me because it has peek-a-book cutouts on the sides. It’s from Rush Couture. This dress is popular on Facebook.
It looked weird on me when I was pregnant. Here it looks normal. 😉
BTW, at one of my Stockholm Syndrome book launches, one woman told me I had love handles. “Or maybe it’s your shirt.” As an author, I tell you, NEVER say mean things to a writer at a book launch.
Natalie Goldberg always brings someone who tells her she’s beautiful. Doesn’t matter if she messed up. Tell her she rocked it hard. As a fashionista and a physician, I present this dress as evidence that I did not detect love handles. If I had love handles, I would not choose to wear a peek-a-boo dress. QED.
I was doing it “all.” Except I ended up so sick, I couldn’t work the ER any more. I had to ask for help. And one of my colleagues started lecturing me how much I was burdening the group, and I’d better not take more than a week off.
I started yelling at that doctor. Which made him worry about my mental health. Which is a whole other worm-can.
In truth, I am not the best doctor right now. Not only on December 7-8th, when I was high on dexamethasone and short of breath with palpitations of up to 200 (my husband was upset that I couldn’t figure out how to dial the phone. In my defence, it was a new phone, and I was more interested in getting my clothes together for my scheduled appearance on Rogers TV the next morning). That night, the doctor kept telling me I shouldn’t go on TV. I was like, “I’m supposed to be on TV! That’s why I took the dex at night, to heal my vocal cords enough to sing! I’ll take the train if you really want, but geez. I also have a recording for CBC’s White Coat Black Art scheduled for the afternoon.” I was all set, even though I couldn’t find the Imovane they’d just given me to sleep, but RN Rebecca stopped me. She said, “You look pale. And sick.”
Suddenly, I was shocked into cancelling. I can’t be ugly on TV. That would be bad. It was like, if you want to get young women to quit smoking, you can try and reason with them about how it’s expensive, and selling out to the man, and giving you lung cancer and emphysema, but the real money is in telling them they’ll get wrinkles. No way!
I knew I needed to sleep. My husband was mad at me for getting up in the middle of the night and working. I knew, logically, I’d never get better that way. And yet I couldn’t stop.
I tried to work with the flu until I was seeing double and forgetting to order chest X-rays, and the other doctor sent me home. Then I made myself pick up my Stockholm Syndrome books and ended up dehydrated and nearly delirious when they detained me at the border for 1.5 hours (hint: if the government sends you the wrong business number, you’re screwed. If the border guards are chasing after illegal cigarettes and the remaining guard has no clue what to do with you, you’re screwed). Even yesterday, when my friends and colleagues are like, “Are you much better now?”, I’d have to say that not only did it seem like my pneumonia came back with a vengeance after we stopped all antibiotics for a few days, but I’m not completely compos mentis–at the children’s Christmas party, I answered a page from the neurologist and forgot my purse on a bench in the hallway. RN Annie was too tactful to say anything, but I knew she’d noticed I wasn’t right.
The good news is, I managed to get to Ottawa to record an interview with Fresh Air’s Mary Ito, and it was pretty cool. You can listen to it here: https://soundcloud.com/cbc-fresh-air/final-melissa-yuan-innes-6287325-2015-12-12t04-21-11000. They’ll keep it up for two weeks.
I was able to put a good game face on for the 3 h drive and the recording, although I did lose my parking pass immediately.
I hadn’t checked Kobo recently–too nervous that I sucked, especially since they hadn’t mentioned the free code during the interview–but I nerved up and did it.
And guess what I saw?

#8 in mystery overall. Not just #4 in thrillers. All of mystery and suspense, people. Maybe you’ve heard of Tom Clancy or Lisa Jackson? Or James Patterson?
But, greedy Gus that I am, I wondered how I was doing overall. I was euphoric when Mark Leslie Lefebvre told me Terminally Ill (Hope Sze #3) had broken Kobos’ Top 50 after my interview with Wei Chen on CBC’s Ontario Morning. Terminally Ill ended up hitting as high as #27 for all of Kobo’s books. Not segmented by genre. Every. Single. Book. On. Kobo.
Could Stockholm Syndrome repeat the magic? Even if Fresh Air hadn’t given out the time-limited magic Kobo code of STOCKHOLM100 during the interview, only on Facebook and Twitter?
NUMBER TWELVE, PEOPLE. That’s better than Terminally Ill.
I was freaking out, didn’t sleep (again), high-fiving Max.
OMG. Look at it. Fifteen Dogs just won the Giller Prize. Mary Ito interviewed Andre Alexis, too. NFW.
Should I not tell you about the bad stuff? Probably. But for those of you who already know my protagonist, Dr. Hope Sze, we’re pathologically honest. I could pretend to be perfect, but I’m no good at lying. So here you go.
In other words, it’s the best of times, it’s the worst of times. And I’m my own worst enemy. But mostly the best, because my husband, my friends, and my colleagues are rallying around me. And because I feel like telling near-strangers, I love you.
Because I do. Because we’re alive. Including me, despite myself.
Take care of yourselves. I care about you.
Love,
Melissa
“Each patient carries his own doctor inside him.”
― Norman Cousins, Anatomy of an Illness
“A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended.”
“The loner who looks fabulous is one of the most vulnerable loners of all.”
― Anneli Rufus, Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto
“The need for change bulldozed a road down the centre of my mind.” —Maya Angelou
“I can paint a barn with someone else’s blood. I just can’t stand to see my own.” ―Colonel Henry Blake, a surgeon on M*A*S*H Episode Guide Team, M*A*S*H EPISODE GUIDE: Details All 251 Episodes with Plot Summaries. Searchable. Companion to DVDs Blu Ray and Box Set.
“Some people should not be allowed to see beyond your surface. Seeing your vulnerability is a privilege, not meant for everyone.” ― Yasmin Mogahed
“Being an open and vulnerable doesn’t mean you are weak..” ― Jayesh Varma
“A heart that can break is better than no heart at all.” ―Marty Rubin
“There is more hope in honest brokenness than in the pretense of false wholeness.”
― Jamie Arpin-Ricci, Vulnerable Faith: Missional Living in the Radical Way of St. Patrick
People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find time for illness.
People that go through serious illness – you can either go one way or the other. You can either become despondent about it all. Or it kind of rejuvenates you, makes you focus on what’s important.~Jack Layton
Congrats!
😀 x trillion
So exciting!
Ah, maybe you should take your own advice and take care of yourself! Hope your next best seller is a little easier on your health! And congrats!
That’s awesome! Congratulations!!
Congratulations – but take care of you. Slow down and enjoy this.
Congratulations!
Well deserved congratulations!
The candle lit from both ends soon runs out of wick. Mazel tov on your well-earned success, but please take care of yourself. Family and friends are more important than fame (well, a little more important). 😉
Be well.
I know you’re right, Dr. Bob. Up until now, I’ve always had enough candle and wick, right? So I thought I could keep going forever. You’re right, though. Family and friends first.
Congrats!! Just listened to the interview -it was great and you sounded healthy 🙂
Listening now! Congratulations!
Yay! Thank you, Christine. We go way back. 🙂
We do indeed!
wel that rocked! you sounded great! hope you dont mind that i shared the link?
Always share the link. And the code STOCKHOLM100, too, if you want. xoxox
Very cool!!!
You are cool. I was talking to Annie, and she was telling me, “So Tracy VanDalen Bradley was giving out gifts, like she always does at the Christmas party. And Tracy always does this…and I was like, what? How could I have missed it? Gotta get to the party next year!
My next life….. A party organizer!! Lol
With the hangover clinic. 🙂
Congrats, Melissa.
Ryan!!!!!! I was just thinking about you. Scotiabank pays dividends, but looks like not every month. I’m still hanging on to my REITs.
Haha, nice. Yeah, BNS pays quarterly dividends. I bought some shares in August and they’re cheaper even now. Over 5% yield is getting tempting to add some more.
See, the difference between you and me is that I see the number in the red and say bah, and you say, “Hmm. Better add more.” Still, quarterly doesn’t seem that great to me. Why not Vanguard, with its low MER’s?
Quarterly isn’t so bad, particularly if you have a diversified set of companies each paying quarterly dividends which are staggered across the months. So, Company A pays in January/April/July/October, Company B pays February/May/August/November, Company C pays March/June/September/December, etc.. So, you’d be receiving dividends in each month rather than simply every three months when taking the portfolio holistically…. Vanguard is great for investors planning to index given their low fees, but I’d rather simply focus on the best of breed high quality companies and omit the laggards. In an index of 200 companies, there’s a good chance 100 (or far more) aren’t worth owning in the first place. As for adding more on dips… it all hinges on whether you trust you’ve made the right decision to own in the first place. If you’re not prepared to add more at a cheaper price, you probably have no business owning the stock (or index) to begin with.
It sounds like you’re more a value investor and I’m more index. I feel like, okay, I invested X in Scotiabank. That’s, say, 1% of my portfolio. If they go up or down, I don’t like riding the wave. I’d rather trust that the market as a whole goes up. ‘Course, I actually have to act on this, but this article really shaped my thinking:
http://jlcollinsnh.com/2012/04/19/stocks-part-ii-the-market-always-goes-up/
The article was a good read. The best book I’ve read on the “always goes up” category is “Stocks For The Long Run”. Provides as much data over the past +200 years of market history and as many angles as you can imagine to build the conclusion that there has never been a bad time to buy stocks. If, of course, you believe the future will look anything like the past (I figure it probably will, for my money).
I know past performance can’t dictate future. So then I hesitate at buying yet more VTI or VUN, because if the American market tanks, that’s a problem. But I take comfort in the long run, too. I’ll look up “Stocks For The Long Run.” I’d also be willing to diversify into real estate, etc., but haven’t found any good opportunities.
Congrats! And naps!
Ha! Good idea.
Thanks, Rach, you superstar. 🙂
Just listened to the interview in Edmonton with my whole crew. It was great! Congratulations. You were poised and hilarious and entertaining and insightful.
You are beautiful and fabulous!
Now you just have to get well.
Congratulations on the well-deserved success of Stockholm Syndrome.
Aaaaaaaahhhhh! I hope your whole crew liked it.
I can tell that my voice was tired, but I listened to it a few times without feeling embarrassed. 🙂
Thank you for the compliments. You’re lovely, generous, a good friend, and a smart reader.
I have to admit, I worry that the success is fleeting. But I guess you just have to let it go and be Buddhist. Thanks for all you’ve done, you publicist, you. 😉
Way to go!!!
How exciting! But scary–I’m glad you’re better. Great interview!
This is amazing!
Congrats!
Yeah! Congrats Melissa!
Congratulations Melissa! Now I have a book to buy for everyone for Christmas 🙂
LOVE. Thanks, J!
yeah! we know someone famous!!!
Dan Piette said that to me too. I think it shows you have a big heart, that you’re happy for other people!
Congrats! now, go to bed!
Wonderful news! By the way, I think I screwed up the code thing; Kobo didn’t accept it, but gave me $5 off as a new user anyway. However, I can’t figure out how to read it, or even if I’ve successfully downloaded it. Waiting for young folks to visit over Christmas and show me how. Can’t wait to read it at leisure, and will keep my promise to review! Take your time recovering from that nasty bout of pneumonia. I was sick one Christmas and had to order Thai takeout for my college-aged daughter and all her friends we’d invited (an incident my daughter remembers with fondness — not that my cooking’s that bad, but she liked how unstressed I was). Infer from that what you like.
Glad you got it for almost free, anyway!
Mmm. Thai food.
For Lynn McSweeney and anyone else who has trouble using the STOCKHOLM100 code (Lynn, your daughter and anyone else can use it too), I made up a help page: http://melissayuaninnes.com/freestockholm/ 🙂
Thank you!
Stephen Campbell is here! In case you missed it, Steve interviewed me on Crimefiction.fm. He is a force of nature in the industry. Big ups to Steve! http://crimefiction.fm/stockholm-syndrome-melissa-yi/
You’re a one woman testimonial factory – Thanks! 😀
Thanks, Geoff Heseltine. 😉
Way to go Melissa! Big congrats! Reading Stockholm Syndrome is on my holiday break to do list for sure!!!!!!
[…] few more problems. Last time I launched a Hope Sze book, Stockholm Syndrome, I got the flu and then, for the first time in my life, pneumonia. I didn’t want to go through that […]