Winter Ambition: A Reading List for Ballsy Women

Helloooooo to any Bullish readers! I’m a big Jen Dziura fan. Here’s one of my favourite Bullish lines: “adult fun is better. You can drink scotch in nice places and chat with European bartenders instead of chugging wine coolers in a chilly parking lot while some guy who’s failing algebra tries to get in your bra.”

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Jen suggested ballsy books as our first blog topic. I’m a writer who basically thinks reading=breathing, so I’m thrilled to join this blog network. I’m also a doctor, so I may have a slightly different take on testicles.

Art by niera94. A bold book, wouldn't you say?

Art by niera94. A bold book, wouldn’t you say?

Ballsy #1: Balls Gone Wild
SHARP OBJECTS
When I borrowed this book from the Cornwall Public Library, the circulation clerk said, “I loved Gone Girl, but I think this one is even better. It’s weirder.”
I agree.
I tell Flynn neophytes that Gone Girl is about a twisted marriage. Sharp Objects is about a twisted family.
What I love about Gillian Flynn’s novels, having read a grand total of two, is their sheer intelligence. The woman does not pull any punches. When I’m reading her books, I’m laughing because she’s so freaking funny (my favourite Gone Girl line is the one about how real Amy wants to punch fictional Amazing Amy in her stupid, spotless vagina), but wincing at how true to life the characters are while they mentally and physically maim each other.
For example, the narrator, Camille, in Sharp Objects muses about carrying a dead nine-year-old child, Anne, through the Missouri woods like this:
It would be hard to carry a child through these woods. Branches and leaves strangle the pathway, roots bump up from the ground. [Anne’s hair] would have tangled itself in the passing brush. I kept mistaking spiderwebs for glimmering strands of hair.
I was caught right there. The horror, imagining oneself lugging the victim’s body, juxtaposed with the grace of hair and the fragile beauty of spiderwebs.
Later, Camille talks about how her adolescent facial “features changed by the day, as if clouds floated above me, casting flattering or sickly shadows on my face.” But after her sudden transformation into a beauty, “I was no longer the pity case (with, how weird, the dead sister). I was the pretty girl (with, how sad, the dead sister).”
Ain’t that the truth.
Why am I opening with Sharp Objects?
Ballsy isn’t always good. Sociopaths are ballsy. They’re not my role model. We need kindness and compassion too. So I remember the ups of having guts (yes, I’d like to be a New York Times bestseller like Gillian Flynn) and the downside (not enough to kill children and pull out their teeth).

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Full disclosure: I have a vested interest in Gillian Flynn. Kobo sponsored me to write three mystery short stories inspired by Gone Girl in their $5000 Going Going Gone Contest (yep, you could win five grand and a Kobo Aura H2O just for reading three stories and solving three clues before October 10th). But I’d recommend GF anyway. She’s the real deal. Thrilled to see the movie tonight. [Update: saw it. Hooray!]

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Ballsy #2: Gonads Get Rich
MONEYGEEK.CA
Financial advisors will tell you that they add value, and that’s why they should get paid. I understand this, and I do recommend one of my financial advisors, Jessica Sarrazin, who has just started in the business, but offers personalized, meticulous care.
Financial independents (not sure what else to call them. People who want to strike out on their own) know that index funds usually outperform mutual funds. So they go direct and cut out the middle man.
But obviously, it’s confusing to jump into financial waters, especially if you don’t have a clue. So—ta dah!—I recommend http://www.moneygeek.ca. Jin Won Choi explains concepts clearly and without a lot of fanfare (does anyone else hate financial websites aimed at women that have way too high a pink:content ratio?). Jin understands math, since he’s a 31-year-old Ph.D. in mathematics, and he doesn’t get bogged down in jargon like some other sites. I did get a basic membership, but most of his content is free and relevant, even if you’re not Canadian like us. Read through his blog, click on his tools, and see if he works for you. The Short Book on Investments (http://www.moneygeek.ca/book/), his free e-book, in exchange for your e-mail address, is a good staring point.

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Ballsy #3: Testicular Torsion
GENE LUEN YANG
What? Another Asian guy? Yes, and he’s brilliant in a different way. American Born Chinese was the first graphic novel nominated for the National Book Award, somehow combining tales of Chinese legends, schoolboy politics, and friendship. I’ve read it to my son several times. While I was inwardly squirming at Chin-Kee, the deliberately stereotypical Chinese cousin, Max was laughing.
Boxers and Saints tells the story of the Boxer Rebellion in China from two different points of view, a boy who becomes a rebel and a girl who joins the Christians.
In Level Up, Dennis’s parents pressure him to become a doctor, but he’d rather play video games. You might think you know how it ends, but I was surprised and touched by the last page.
Gene Yang illustrates the struggle between family, calling, ambition, and friendship. Balls against the world. Balls from multiple points of view. Hence the medical joke title (testicular torsion is when a testicle accidentally swivels around and cuts off its own blood supply. Gene Yang shows you how how to turn around).

I could go on, but I can’t wait to see what everyone else recommends. Cheers, and happy reading!

READ HOPE & WIN A KOBO AURA H2O & $5000: Kobo’s Going Going Gone Contest, featuring Hope Sze (Secret deal reveal)!!!!!!!!!!

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1. Do you like money?

2. Do you love to read? Like, all the time? At the beach, or in the bath, even?

3. Do you like my crime-fighting doctor, Hope Sze?

Well, now you can scoop up $5000 and read about Hope under the Atlantic Ocean, if you want to, through the generosity and creative engineering of Kobo!

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This is my Cinderella moment, so bear with me. I am so excited about this.

You could win five thousand dollars and a Kobo with Hope Sze, thanks to Kobo’s Going Going Gone contest!

Download three Hope Sze Gone Fishing mystery stories for free, solve one riddle per story, and you could win five thousand large and the world’s splashiest e-reader, the waterproof Kobo H2O!

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I love my readers, but I sometimes feel guilty taking your hard-earned money. Now Kobo is giving money to YOU!

Read it, solve it, and walk away five thousand dollars richer and one Kobo smarter.

Readers win.

Intelligence wins.

Okay, luck plays a role too. But come on. When was the last time someone paid you five grand and gifted you the latest Kobo for reading three stories?

Three stories that pay homage to Gillian Flynn’s hilarious, twisted, fierce novel, Gone Girl. Just in time for the TV show, Sharp Objects, and the Gone Girl movie.

In the intertwined Gone Fishing mystery stories (“Cain and Abel,” “Trouble and Strife,” and “Butcher’s Hook”), Hope escapes the hospital to take her dad fishing on the Madawaska River for his birthday, only to discover that her own family might represent the most dangerous wildlife of all.

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Yes! Please feel free to share the link http://www.kobo.com/gone, to brainstorm solutions, and of course to admire Kobo’s beautiful platform and their newest e-reader, the Aura H2O, which can go underwater.

Questions? Ask me here or at Books & Bodies on September 20th (https://www.facebook.com/events/339804726168479/), where the latest Hope Sze novella, Student Body, meets yoga and belly dancing.

And tune into my blog for some behind the scenes talk about how the secret deal unfolded.

So what would you do with five thousand dollars and the world’s most innovative Kobo?

Take Grandma out to dinner? Fly to Africa? Save the rainforest? Buy a new set of boobs? Pay off your debts? Buy more books? All of the above?

Your choice. Read Hope and win. #readanywhere