It sounds like the easiest mission ever:
- Go to Earth (you know, the blue planet in the middle of nowhere).
- Sell hot dogs.
- Record interactions with human beings using the loop recorder in his brain.
Unfortunately, humans refuse to buy Charlie’s hot dogs at the corner of Bay and College Street in downtown Toronto, Canada, North America, Earth.
They prefer Earl’s Dogs, the cart across the street.
Charlie can’t understand it. The Leader has provided him with a superior human form, a tall, tan male modelled after that guy on Baywatch, once Earth’s most popular show.
Charlie’s hot dogs are a quarter cheaper. Capitalism in action.
Charlie offers chilis and barbecue sauce, which Earl does not.
And so the war of the hot dogs begins.
Charlie did not land on this planet in order to fail.
Humans ’n’ Hot Dogs: a light, funny finalist for the Roswell Award for Short Science Fiction 2016
'Cause sometimes you need to laugh. Even if it's at the aliens.
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